I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize