super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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