how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
