it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
