Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
