elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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