Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
