i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Randomize
