Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
