so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
