He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
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I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
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I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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