There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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