i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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