she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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