Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
he just fucked me for my cheese..
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize