Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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