Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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