I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
