its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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