Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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