It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
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I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
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Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
soo... how was my night?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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