There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
