Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
