I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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