we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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