I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half