well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
