And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.