I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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