honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
