My hand turned me down
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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