And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
