im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Are we still banned from the library?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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