chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
