You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
