I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
