Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
