We won't sleep together?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
