thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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