I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
