so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I am one with the molecules
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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