she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
