Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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