Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
