So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
