Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
