The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
