Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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