my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Randomize
