if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
