This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
