Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
