I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
