He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
