How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes