Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk

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  (423): I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk http://tfl.nu/ntyc
  Replies (18) Good night (2588) Bad night (1596)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores

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  (304): nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores http://tfl.nu/a1sm
  Replies (12) Good night (3738) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".

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  (951): Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try". http://tfl.nu/107g
  Replies (16) Good night (977) Bad night (5797)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.

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  (630): He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over. http://tfl.nu/mky5
  Replies (13) Good night (1073) Bad night (5928)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...

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  (603): I forgot how few teeth there are in this state... http://tfl.nu/03va
  Replies (34) Good night (1155) Bad night (4642)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper

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  (720): me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling (303): Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper http://tfl.nu/d912
  Replies (3) Good night (2305) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.

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  (260): He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again. http://tfl.nu/91lg
  Replies (17) Good night (1003) Bad night (2933)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.

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  (417): I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday. http://tfl.nu/aq1n
  Replies (8) Good night (2173) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from

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  (702): the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from http://tfl.nu/ac6d
  Replies (9) Good night (889) Bad night (3331)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.

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  (856): Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina. http://tfl.nu/1cex
  Replies (11) Good night (932) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.

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  (816): The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles. http://tfl.nu/r0bo
  Replies (4) Good night (325) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth

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  (802): She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth http://tfl.nu/i0xq
  Replies (2) Good night (571) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me

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  (518): So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me http://tfl.nu/ljyq
  Replies (1) Good night (625) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass

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  (262): I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass http://tfl.nu/astu
  Replies (3) Good night (496) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be

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  (505): Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be http://tfl.nu/c3xl
  Replies (1) Good night (547) Bad night (234)

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