OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA