hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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