i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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