using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize