I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize