i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
