i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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