You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
