AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
sex in a hospital.. check
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
