she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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