They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
