oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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